Friday, September 11, 2009

Tiki Princess & progression

I normally do these girls digitally, but I want to keep practicing my gouache techniques, and well, I was having some fun with it. I really need to practice my line quality, but I'm still relatively new to using ink and pens. There IS a reason I never went into brain surgery.

I love her chubby thighs and calves, but I think I really want to work on her ankles/feet. I'll more than likely do a digital version so that there is a consistency with the art... but I like the way she came out.

The Thing About Jobs

Current mood: rejected

It's tough returning to the workforce after being gone for nearly 3 years. I've often berated myself for not working and doing school at the same time. My reason for this was that my courseload was so intensive and heavy at one point and knowing my own ability to concentrate, I wouldn't have been able to handle it.

Now that my courseload is a little lighter since I'm nearing graduation (two more semesters anyone?!) I'm eager to work. One, to supplement what LITTLE money I have now, and two, I really like being employed. I like contributing to society. I even really like office work.

I've been applying for work right and left. My first interview was in Feb 08 at a vet clinic. The place was the gloomiest place I'd been outside It's A Small World. No one there smiled and from what I heard from the receptionist was that the vet techs like to ride the asses of the new hires on purpose and make their lives hell. No thank you. I was desperate to work, NOT desperate to fall back into a job much like the one I left. The woman interviewing me asked me why there was such a large gap in my work history, and I felt a raincloud form over my head. "So that I could concentrate on getting my BFA". I said flatly. "Oh, okay".
And that was it. After I left the office knowing that there was no way I wanted that job... I realized, this is going to be rough.

I never realized that there was a stigma to people who haven't worked in years. If you stop and look at my resume, you'll see that I have longevity in my jobs (over two years or more) and that I'm CURRENTLY in school.

I've been applying my ass off and was even excited to see I'd been approved to move on to the next round of applicants at the Dept of Human Services here in OR. Then a letter came that I had been selected for the next round, and had to answer some questions.... I did what I thought was an awesome job at responding to these questions like I'm sure they'd wanted to hear. Next day, I got ANOTHER letter from their offices in Portland telling me I'd made it to the next round of applicants, and to answer yet MORE and different questions.

Today I got a letter from the first application I sent to them letting me know that I'd not been selected for an interview. This wasn't the first rejection letter I've gotten. But this was the first that actually made me sad. I really had good vibes about these positions. I mean the law of attraction is in full effect in my life right now, so it was a little blow to my ego. I could be more upset than I am. But I'm not. Even after finding out that I've now reached my lifetime limit of Unsubsidized Stafford Loans (which means I won't get any more next semester AT ALL, well of the unsubsidized ones, which make up a hefty chunk of my tuition) I didn't freak out, I didn't cry (like I for sure would have two years ago... and actually had a meltdown in front of someone I knew). I just figured that I'm in the home stretch of school and if I had to work full time and go to school part time... that's what I'd have to do. At least it happened now, and not, let's say, in my sophomore year. That would have sucked.

Anyway, that leads back to work.

Another point is, that I used to work as a civilian for the Air Force. Nothing fancy, but relatively good job stability, benefits, mixed with a hefty dose of drama. The downside to this situation is.... most often, your bosses are military or military spouses. Capiche? No?
Well, at any given time, your higher ups will say "we want to fuck with you, so we're going to station you in BFE". Which is my case here. It's been a little over three years that I've been unemployed (boy I feel like a loser) and ALL of my former managers, are now stationed elsewhere. BYE BYE!!! To add to this... no one who I worked with in any of the offices I worked at... is still working there either. Not even in HR. So whenever a prospective employer contacts my previous jobs... they'll most likely be met with a "Billy Bob WHO?!" and then I look like a lying asshole.

If a prospective employer does NOT call before I get an interview... I can explain this situation... but I get the feeling that this is not the case. It's a little stressful.

Shitty thing, I waited to hear from this job and the little voice (among all the others) in my head told me I was a shoe-in.

I'm not listening to THOSE voices anymore.