I've found myself with an amazing opportunity that I've been neglecting. I could be flourishing in my "studio" and pumping out work left and right.
Instead, I wake up, stay in my pajamas until the afternoon, and talk to myself about all the things I "could" be doing.
I "could" be promoting myself. I "could" be trying to put out new work. I "could" be experimenting. I "could" be trying to make some money from my work.
I've spent a long time being insecure about my stuff, referring to the multitude of other artists I know who are wildly talented and great at self promotion.
But I live like a hermit with my work because I keep telling myself that I don't have any great ideas, when in fact I have a plethora of ideas that I haven't even tried yet.
I tell myself it'll never work because I can't do it, it won't turn out right. But how will I know if I don't try?!
I tell myself that no one follows my stuff because no one really reads my blogs anymore. Well, who's going to read a blog that's barely updated? Who's going to check out a website that has outdated art and hasn't been completed?
I am able to do this through the awesome generosity of my boyfriend, and basically, by not working on anything, I'm shoving it in his face. I was able to start working on a painting that has remained unfinished for almost 10 years. That was the kick to the ass that I needed. Now I'm in the mood to get this tiny ball rolling.
So there. I said it. I'm putting my butt back in the saddle, and working like a big girl should. Big girl pants on.