Always half done

So I haven't been sitting on my laurels too much lately. It's just that I haven't finished anything. Started, yes. Finished, no. But that's my usual M.O. So my plan is to at least COMPLETE the four projects I have started before school starts in September. One has to be finished before October because I want to put it in a group show.

So here are photos of the 3 out of the 4 projects I have started. These are rough sketches and drafts.

Speaking of school... When I got my award letter, I was reminded that I was $2,000 short of being able to pay for next semester. I'm at my lifetime limit of federal loans. I wished that I would have remembered this after I graduated the first time. I went to a technical school 1997-1998, spent or rather, wasted $13,000 on a certificate that was useless.  The school taught us programs that were obsolete by the time I graduated and their idea of a placement department was scanning the newspaper and sending you to the interview. I sure wish I could have half of that $13k now that I'm trying to get my BFA. It's just a case of "if I knew then what I know now". But you can't focus on that, just go full steam ahead.

I'm appreciative of all the grants AND scholarships that I've received. It's relieved a lot of the burden of having to take out loans. I really should have just stayed at my parents house and used my last personal loan to pay for looming school debt. But, being 33, I was eager to get back into living on my own and with Steve coming home from Iraq, I thought it would be a little uncomfortable having him stay and "live" with us there. But looking back on it now, it would have been a sound financial idea for the both of us.

When I first got the letter I thought "This is what I needed to get my ass in gear to freelance" and more recently I've spent a few moments panicking, sobbed a little and set my mind right again by allowing the chips to fall where they may and applied for work. At least I could try to make monthly payments, right? It's been harrowing.

The Universe has been good to me. I could spend an hour giving you great, positive examples. Steve, Portland, friends, school, family, etc. I just need to trust in that, and not give in to the dark thoughts of panic and negativity. It's hard when I'm so close to the end I can touch the finish line. Shit, I can see the finish line. I'm the first person in my family to go to school and get a degree. I live to make my family proud of me. I want to do this, I've worked so incredibly hard to get where I am now. I sacrificed more than I care to admit.

I spent so long in the beginning being a whiny bitch and wanting to quit if I didn't get my way.  I've made so many positive changes since that little girl (of 28) that I don't want to ruin it. If I have to put it off for another year, fine. I don't really want to do this because I'm so close, but if I have to, I will begrudgingly do it.

I'm scared. But I'm ready. And I'm ready to work my ass off even more to get there.

Work in Progress - Patron Saints

So the theme for my final project for my painting class is "Patron Saints of the Absurd". So I've decided to paint three self portraits as absurd patron saints, that *actually* exist. The first in the three-part series is the patron saint of cake-makers. Oh, yeah.
The other three in progress will be uploaded when I get to them, until then, I won't say exactly what they are :)

Gouache on Watercolor block.


The original sketch, the eye is not right yet and my nose is too long.


I fixed the eye and the nose is more realistic.... gooooo cake!The more I look at the most current version, the more I'm not liking my eye. I'll leave all of that for when I get closer to painting the face...

Here's the photo I used for reference... excuse the weakness of the cake. After a long night of shooting the poor thing for reference... it melted under the hot lights. It originally looked really good.




I like this photo, but alas, it didn't make the cut.

Art Nouveau style

Sorting through some work from school I came upon a product illustration I did for some kind of natural hair care serum or something. My first post is from when I was first sketching it.

And being the Art Nouveau nut that I am...

Sketch

Concept sketch:

Watercolor and ink final:

Body Image Doll

This is the rough cut out of the editorial illustration I did on body image. I'm still working on an updated version of the complete illustration.
I couldn't help but cut her out and assemble her. Although, I see issues with the doll, I'm going to correct what I think needs correcting in the final illustration. Then I'll go and have it printed out and then I'll reassemble her!

Then I'll take a photo of the completed doll and scan the art. Because a scan of this thing doesn't do the colors and the assembly justice.
(remember, this is a rough)

(I already know that there is a wonderfully talented artist who makes amazing art paper dolls. I found her stuff while doing research for mine. I'm not stealing her idea or concept, since I had the idea to create this before I found her.)

More schoolwork

Just a doodle to practice some transparent acrylic techniques. They have a different feeling than watercolors. Both of which I have to practice more of.

A doodle of my cat, Lucy Fur in transparent acrylic, ink, acrylic ink on gessoed illustration board.

Yet another school project

Which it seems that's all I've been doing lately. I don't have the energy or the creative metabolism to do my own thing. And I'm aching to!
This assignment was to create a product poster for Apple's iPod and I chose a theme of rock and roll.
I have a lot of friends into rockabilly things, and took this idea to another level. I didn't want a static piece where a girl was holding an ipod and listening to music, so I made it abstract.

I should have some of my own art soon.... I hope




And I'm realizing that watercolor is painful to master. I'm not aiming at mastering it, but I wish it was a little more easy, like oils. Or maybe it's because I'm so used to using oils and the ability to correct mistakes with that medium. Ooops, it's not the right color, that's ok, we'll blend it right in! In watercolor, you put that color down, it's down. Unless you realize your mistake right away and can mop it up. Just make sure you have the right color to put down afterward. I'm also learning that my hand-lettering skills leave A LOT to be desired!

In addition

And as I was working on a project for school, I look down at the illustration... and I had yet to add her eyes.
And she was staring at me with gaping holes.

Or, not staring at me as the case may be.